Be still


Yesterday as I was rushing from class to class, I began to stop and think knowing I had 4 minutes left to get back to class before the professor started to lecture after our 10 minute break, why is this world so fast paced. Why am I planning out how much time I would have to drop off my water, use the restroom and still get a snack before she began to lecture again? I shrugged it off and rushed to drop my stuff off in my next class and run down to get more water and a quesadilla something a little more substantial than my first snack. So I get back to class and I’m out of breath from practically running upstairs, and it crosses my mind again why am I always in such a rush? Maybe it was the caramel macchiato sugar rush that I had influencing these thoughts but then I stopped and thought no I’m always moving this fast and my brain just about as fast if not faster. 

Why do we as a culture move so fast? We are so impatient waiting for something to get done, when it says in the Bible “be still” over 100 times. Have you ever thought about how many opportunities you’ve been given but you don’t slow down enough to make the best of the moments where God gives us the chance to speak into other people but we just pass up the chance. I think we need to slow down and encourage one another to live life the way god has called us to bringing him the glory that he deserves. 

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Words hurt!

“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

I think in today’s society this is something that we overlook the negative impact our actions and words can have on others. I’ve always known that I have struggled with anxiety but haven’t really been open about it with others. I always find myself worrying over the smallest things and how people will react to me expressing my feelings, hence why I have started expressing feelings on my blog. I have a hard time feeling okay with being able to express my emotions to others when I first begin to feel them. Having that pointed out to me and beginning to realize more of why I feel that way so much has really helped me to try to relax more. I’ve noticed that my anxiety is stemmed a lot from what other people say to me whether it be about my habits, about how I act, or just what I say.

Going back to the point I started with, words hurt. Most people don’t always think about what they say before they say it and granted I am guilty of that myself not as much as others. A lot of my anxiety comes from pleasing those around me and helping everyone except myself feel happy. I’m not quite sure how to break that habit but I’m hoping for some tips from others who struggle with anxiety.

Why do I relate anxiety to what others say? Well that’s because a lot of time what other people say about me or to me influences largely how I feel about myself. For example when someone says to me “you’re still trying to grow up but she’s already there,” or when someone casts their low self-esteem onto me. These are just a couple of things that make me someone with anxiety struggle with coping. Learning about how pleasing others and always wanting others to be happy even though I’ve always known I have done that and put myself last so many times knowing that is one of the main things that cause my anxiety.

Confidence also plays a large role in anxiety. I’ve had people tell me time and time again that I need to have more confidence in myself when it comes to school or just anything. Yeah my confidence isn’t that high but learning to overcome it will help me to overcome the anxiety. Change isn’t always easy but sometimes its whats necessary to put your mind at ease and just feel comfortable with where you are.

Just more thoughts

Do you ever have those days where you’re just feeling really good about yourself? Just in general about how you look, feel and act? And then someone just goes and says one thing and ruins it. That was me today. I like most women struggle with self confidence and body image, so going to the gym to meet with a personal trainer for the first time was a big deal for me. I did good working out, ate a salad, had chicken and pasta and was doing pretty good drinking a lot of water. I was feeling good about myself in every way. Arguably a little too good I might say just a little overexcited. So the night goes on and I decided to have a Twinkie just something small after I’d been good, or so I thought. Then my mom was like you just ruined your workout, I’m like one Twinkie isn’t going to hurt to which she replied “yes the one Twinkie and three French fries ruined all of your effort”. At this point I’m thinking when did I even have French fries last so I ask her and she’s like Tuesday. I’m like seriously at this point I’m realizing, she’s just projecting her self confidence issues off on me because I was feeling too good about myself. So my question to other women feel free to reply, how do we not let that get to us? Is it a matter of just shrugging it off or what? Just something I’m struggling with. I don’t understand how someone who should encourage us attempts to discourage us. I mean even the bible says ““I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬. I think as women it is hard for us to remember that God made us just how he wanted us to be!