Politics and God

WARNING: This post is going to be different than any other post I’ve ever written. I’ve been thinking tonight a lot about the new “Trumpcare” that was just passed by the house of representatives and researching the preexisting conditions that will inhibit the process of receiving healthcare. Some of these include from what I’ve read, diabetes, rape, glaucoma, domestic violence and even obesity. Do you know how many people are affected daily by these conditions that he is listing as a condition that can block someone from getting healthcare?!? I find it just agitating everything he is considering that can block the life saving care that someone might need I mean to leave it up to the insurance companies to sign waivers saying yes this person can legally receive care even with the said preexisting condition… it just annoys me. I mean something as simple as a migraine or anxiety can inhibit someone’s ability to receive medical attention?? Where does this even seem right? To me it almost feels like we are losing the ability to openly share about the physical ailments we may experience from day to day and get answers relating to each. It just doesn’t feel right…

By now if you’re still reading thanks that was more like a rant than anything… Now you might be wondering why is the title of this post politics and God it’s been more politics than anything, yes that’s true but can you imagine in the days when Jesus was alive if he were to refuse a relationship with someone on an intimate and personal level because of leprosy or blindness. That just wouldn’t make sense God doesn’t turn anyone away really no matter what background so why should it be that a health insurance company is obligated to refuse coverage to someone that needs it?!? God doesn’t refuse a relationship with someone that comes to him why would a doctor feel okay doing that.

Speaking of doctors and healthcare policies, why is there no funding for childhood cancer? On facebook I follow many children like Lily Bumpus, Fighting For Delilah, Team Mateo, and prayforbailey. Just this week one of the little girls Delilah passed away from cancer and Lilly who is 4 posted a video tribute to her today and it dang near made me ball my eyes out. With all these little kids fighting diseases such as cancer and God only knows what else, how is the healthcare policy going to affect them? Lilly is so young and has already lost two of her best friends to cancer yet she manages to smile and have fun and speak wisdom and gentle reminders into my life with every post. I can’t imagine how it feels for her knowing about death and heaven at such a young age but I pray that as she grows up she continues to share positivity and wisdom with the world.

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Creating idols

Joshua 1:9 says “this is my command- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Lately God has been challenging me when it comes to trusting him with all of my heart. I’ve found myself leaning on my own understanding more than I would like to admit lately. Trusting in God isn’t always the easiest thing to do but it’s definitely one of the most important. I’ve made a new friend recently that is constantly reminding me to focus on god and treat everything I do as an act of worship. Being reminded of that a lot recently has opened my eyes to how many idols I actually have guilt and shame being two of them. I never really put a lot of thought into how those things can become idols but they really do take my focus off of God. I think it’s a lot of learning how to manage the guilt and shame and not getting to the point where yes they are idols. I listened to a really insightful podcast recently from femperfect and it talked a lot about guilt and shame. Following are a few things that I really found interesting as I listened. 

Guilt moves you towards forgiveness. Shame becomes an idol you serve all of the time. Shame distorts the truth and makes you want to hide. Shame destroys healthy relationships with yourself and God. Shame keeps you inauthentic with your feelings. God wants a Christian that is always strong and humble. Lord I pray that you would show me more of you! Let prayer do the heavy lifting. And last but not least choose joy, it’s a decision. 

Lately god has been opening my eyes to the importance of prayer and the importance of trusting fully in him. I’ve found myself getting easily overwhelmed and I really want to break that pattern. The first step to that: break the idols of guilt and shame! 

Getting stuck in the what if’s

How come it is so easy for us to get stuck in the what if’s of life. Why does constantly getting stuck in the what if’s cause so much anxiety and stress? I’ve noticed a lot lately that my focus has been in other places rather than focused on God because I’m so stuck in the what if’s. God says in Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you;” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I’ve been constantly reminding myself of this verse trying to keep my mind off of the what if’s that have been plaguing my mind. I’m struggling with really giving everything up to God and trusting in his plan because like it says in Jeremiah he knows the plan that he has for us. Why is it so hard for us to trust in God when we find ourselves struggling with our circumstances? God is there for us through all of the hard times and uses them to help us persevere.

God leads us to what he wants us to do most and trusting him to guide us through the hardships. In those times instead of falling into the what if’s it is important to stop and pray. God knows what we need before we even ask for it and remembering that before we get stuck in the habit of questioning god is important.

Trusting in god

psalm-4910

You know those weeks when things just start feeling out of control, overwhelming and nerve wrecking? That’s been me and quite a few others that I’ve encountered this week so far. The week before finals is always stressful but something’s just a little different about this finals week. I’m preparing to graduate and that’s so crazy to me. There are so many feelings associated with graduation for me: nerves, anxiety, emotions just all the things and I’ve been relying on myself more than god and that’s really been showing lately. After just taking a step back and asking a friend to pray for me it’s all coming together. The nerves have sort of eased and just keeping my head up and focused on my next goals! 

Feeling drained…

I’ve never really stopped and thought about it before this week but living with anxiety is exhausting. Finding a balance between focusing on myself and helping others has really become challenging. It’s so crazy to me how god works in putting certain things on our minds at certain times. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to take care of myself this week but, I’ve also come to realize how exhausting it can be living when anxiety. Anxiety is such a struggle and I think coupled with stress it makes it so much harder to cope. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feeling like I can’t do anything right by my parents points of view as well as with perfectionism. I’ve come to realize that anxiety definitely plays a key role in overthinking and overthinking and questioning things is often what gets me so overwhelmed. It’s been a long week but day by day I’m handing it and all will be worth it eventually!

Hurricanes of Emotion

We take our shame and guilt and give it to Jesus to grow in love with Jesus everyday. This is definitely something I’ve been struggling with lately. To be honest I haven’t been taking my struggles to god lately I’ve been trying to cope on my own with anxiety, feeling alone and just struggling in general. Through many experiences lately I’ve realized that god is calling me back to him whether I realize it or not. Some of the things that god wants me to do aren’t always going to be easy but if I trust in him fully┬áI know great things will come from it. I heard a quote today that said being brave doesn’t mean that you’re not scared its that you’re scared but you still do something, and I stopped and thought about it and that’s what God often calls us to do is to step out of our comfort zone and do new things. You know how sometimes you just get lost in reflection over everything happening in your life and where God is leading you to go? That’s been me a lot this week and he’s pulled me many different directions that all lead me back to Him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t really struggling through this. I’m building so many new relationships and its honestly straining me trying to find a balance between helping others and taking time out for myself. Today in chapel during worship, I darn near broke down into tears singing “Like a tidal wave
Crashing over me Rushing in to meet me here Your love is fierce Like a hurricane
That I can’t escape Tearing through the atmosphere Your love is fierce.” This was just so powerful to me just feeling like I can’t escape the hurricane of emotion that God is bringing me to. It’s been so frustrating honestly but through it I’ve definitely learned a lot. Definitely realizing how important it is for me in this season to put myself first some. Just gotta take a step back and enjoy the view.

Negative reactions on social media

I’m not one to get emotional on social media. Maybe a little on twitter but not on Instagram or Facebook. When I do though I’ve noticed that I get criticized a lot.

I was outside today and happened to notice the pattern of angel wings in the sky and I was reminded of my grandpa. So I was super excited and didn’t post what it reminded me of in my caption on Instagram/Facebook, but I made it known that it made me feel good seeing this. In my caption yes I did say clouds, because I got excited. Little did I know after feeling so comforted by this someone had the nerve to comment “clouds”. Okay, so in the moment I didn’t think about chemtrails but why do people pick those posts that make you happy to crush your feelings. Probably me just overreacting from hormones but really it’s so frustrating. I mean why do people that don’t fully agree with your views knock them? This is the one aspect where I feel like things are better left unsaid, but who am I to judge? I just wish that on social media people would just respect one another’s viewpoints even if there is disagreement.