Overcoming hardships

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.” 1 Peter 5:7-9

Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like the world and practically everyone in it is against you? Okay, maybe that’s a little overdramatic but still, those weeks where you’re trying to be optimistic and stay positive but you feel like the enemy is against you. I have been thinking of this song I have this hope by Tenth Avenue North

“As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

I don’t want to live in fear
I want to trust that You are near
Trust Your grace can be seen
In both triumph and tragedy

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

I know that life is a series of great unknowns and the anxiety comes when you don’t know what will come next. Arguably I might be being too optimistic about a current situation ending well and that’s okay to an extent I mean I would rather it end well but on the off chance that it doesn’t that’s okay too. You know those situations where every hypothetical ending you play out in your mind just brings up so many feelings? Yeah its been one of those weeks. I get that at any given time we are all in different seasons of our lives and our priorities are different but don’t turn against each other just because of one thing that was said even if it was super uncalled for. I hope that eventually we can move past victimizing one another for one comment that was made under the influence of alcohol.

Hebrews 6:19 “We have this hope as an anchor for our soul..” Continue reading

Getting stuck in the what if’s

How come it is so easy for us to get stuck in the what if’s of life. Why does constantly getting stuck in the what if’s cause so much anxiety and stress? I’ve noticed a lot lately that my focus has been in other places rather than focused on God because I’m so stuck in the what if’s. God says in Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you;” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I’ve been constantly reminding myself of this verse trying to keep my mind off of the what if’s that have been plaguing my mind. I’m struggling with really giving everything up to God and trusting in his plan because like it says in Jeremiah he knows the plan that he has for us. Why is it so hard for us to trust in God when we find ourselves struggling with our circumstances? God is there for us through all of the hard times and uses them to help us persevere.

God leads us to what he wants us to do most and trusting him to guide us through the hardships. In those times instead of falling into the what if’s it is important to stop and pray. God knows what we need before we even ask for it and remembering that before we get stuck in the habit of questioning god is important.

Stress


In contemporary society it is so easy for us as christians to fall into pleasing people rather than pleasing the wonderful God we serve. I’ve been thinking a lot about what constitutes worship in gods eyes. It is often overlooked how everything we do is considered worship of god, whether it be who we let into our lives, what we put into our bodies, and what we do in general. I was talking with one of my friends the other day and she was sharing how she was feeling challenged in worshipping god through her education and I agreed. It is so hard to glorify God with every action when sometimes it just feels easier to just curl up and give up, or just check out for a day so to speak. I feel like as a student people don’t always acknowledge that sometimes I just need a day off and I’ll get back to what needs to be done, and I get frustrated about it. I mean for people to tell someone ex a stressed out college student to relax and not stress out it makes it harder to not stress.

“Always pray with a thankful heart; everything that you have is a result of God’s supply. He is the ultimate source, not money, a job, career, relationship, a perfect clothing size, or anything else. Once that fact becomes a reality to you, then God’s peace will sustain you.”

I think as college students it is crucial for us to not manipulate god for things. Always pray with a thankful heart; everything that you have is a result of God’s supply. It might seem like too much at times but always trust that God will pull you through.

Feeling drained…

I’ve never really stopped and thought about it before this week but living with anxiety is exhausting. Finding a balance between focusing on myself and helping others has really become challenging. It’s so crazy to me how god works in putting certain things on our minds at certain times. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to take care of myself this week but, I’ve also come to realize how exhausting it can be living when anxiety. Anxiety is such a struggle and I think coupled with stress it makes it so much harder to cope. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feeling like I can’t do anything right by my parents points of view as well as with perfectionism. I’ve come to realize that anxiety definitely plays a key role in overthinking and overthinking and questioning things is often what gets me so overwhelmed. It’s been a long week but day by day I’m handing it and all will be worth it eventually!

Hurricanes of Emotion

We take our shame and guilt and give it to Jesus to grow in love with Jesus everyday. This is definitely something I’ve been struggling with lately. To be honest I haven’t been taking my struggles to god lately I’ve been trying to cope on my own with anxiety, feeling alone and just struggling in general. Through many experiences lately I’ve realized that god is calling me back to him whether I realize it or not. Some of the things that god wants me to do aren’t always going to be easy but if I trust in him fully I know great things will come from it. I heard a quote today that said being brave doesn’t mean that you’re not scared its that you’re scared but you still do something, and I stopped and thought about it and that’s what God often calls us to do is to step out of our comfort zone and do new things. You know how sometimes you just get lost in reflection over everything happening in your life and where God is leading you to go? That’s been me a lot this week and he’s pulled me many different directions that all lead me back to Him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t really struggling through this. I’m building so many new relationships and its honestly straining me trying to find a balance between helping others and taking time out for myself. Today in chapel during worship, I darn near broke down into tears singing “Like a tidal wave
Crashing over me Rushing in to meet me here Your love is fierce Like a hurricane
That I can’t escape Tearing through the atmosphere Your love is fierce.” This was just so powerful to me just feeling like I can’t escape the hurricane of emotion that God is bringing me to. It’s been so frustrating honestly but through it I’ve definitely learned a lot. Definitely realizing how important it is for me in this season to put myself first some. Just gotta take a step back and enjoy the view.

Negative reactions on social media

I’m not one to get emotional on social media. Maybe a little on twitter but not on Instagram or Facebook. When I do though I’ve noticed that I get criticized a lot.

I was outside today and happened to notice the pattern of angel wings in the sky and I was reminded of my grandpa. So I was super excited and didn’t post what it reminded me of in my caption on Instagram/Facebook, but I made it known that it made me feel good seeing this. In my caption yes I did say clouds, because I got excited. Little did I know after feeling so comforted by this someone had the nerve to comment “clouds”. Okay, so in the moment I didn’t think about chemtrails but why do people pick those posts that make you happy to crush your feelings. Probably me just overreacting from hormones but really it’s so frustrating. I mean why do people that don’t fully agree with your views knock them? This is the one aspect where I feel like things are better left unsaid, but who am I to judge? I just wish that on social media people would just respect one another’s viewpoints even if there is disagreement. 

Coping with anxiety

Anxiety is definitely a weird thing. I felt really anxious tonight about going to my neighbors house tonight but I went anyway. Just had a feeling that I can’t describe, as in feeling like something awkward was going to happen. Little did I know that was going to come true. I don’t know what it is about me but people find it super easy to confide in me a lot and sometimes that’s really stressful for me. It made me think a lot about my grandpa, my relationship with god and just where I’ve been and where I’m going. So many good things are happening in my life right now and without my grandpa here to encourage me through everything it’s been difficult. I know that he would be proud of me with how hard I’m working but I feel like right when I’m okay with where I am something comes up or someone says something that just pushes me back to where I’m trying to get out of. My anxiety has been out of control lately or at least it feels like it has and I’m really struggling with that.